Ascents in Yosemite National Park by Jack Seawright

Unfortunately didnt get a chance to get further than 6 pitches up the shnoz this season. Anthony and I did a 'dolt run' to practice speed climbing. I went with antons 'intermediate clove hitch' method of breaking up the death loop as opposed to the self belay because im not stoked about lead falling onto a device im wearing. The only sketchy moment was forgetting to undo one of the cloves and pulling a nut out from above. It was my only piece and i couldnt place above so i had to shimmy down and replace the nut. After that i just waited for tony to get up and put me on belay. Ultimately more research on this as well as the route itself would be needed for the holy 'niad'. A 3 or 4 day ascent might be a prerequisite.. Or 2 days with hammocks and only bars and drinking peoples piss off the wall to avoid hauling? Still stoked to get up on the 'best rock climb in the world' and look down the dawn wall with howling wind to juice up the exposure even more.

Steak-salad-day. 'If you cant climb the good-looking 1000m peak, climb its chossier sister'. Id heard about the training methods for this route involving garage door sitting and asphalt parking lot crawling but really henry and i should have put more time into practising going down waterslides at wet and wild without sliding. We got the day started at 5:30 in the carpark to avoid pony-boy's unplanned summit shiver-bivvy scenario. An added incentive was the thunderstorms predicted for the afternoon. But it doesnt rain in yosemite so we werent worried. Got to 'the narrows' at about 2:30, just as the thunderstorm rolled in on schedule. I struggled through with much swearing, henry got the bag stuck on second. I tied him off and rapped back into the chimney to encourage him to ditch the bag! Lucky he had slightly better sense to just take stuff out of the bag till it fit through the chimney. Squeeze struggling while feeling the thunder rattling the rock is a slightly stressful but pretty cool experience. The storm cleared and we went through to the top via an incorrect but very fun series of sporty flake pitches out left, got some photos and then saw another storm inbound. A double header! Tailed it down the gully at 7:15. The rain belted us as we raced down choss, followed by slippery slab waterfalls, henry hurriedly navigating. One particularly sketchy downclimb was bailed off and an impromptu rap down the slabs cost us a couple of slings but we were granted our continued survival in exchange. This journey was being viewed by all our friends through binos in the comfort of camp 4 so were glad we could provide some wet-weather entertainment. After another hour of glissading through broken trees and avoiding unannounced cliffs and waterfalls, we stumbled across a tourist track at 10:15. The car was parked for 16:45. I cant imagine what henry and i will go through on our second climb together. We both deserved the bin pancakes i promised for someone climbing stalathe with me on my facebook ad.

'Stoners highway is the best 5.10 in the valley' say all the 5.13 climbers in the valley. Maybe its the only one that makes them feel something. I could believe that. I had mixed feelings originally when gen wanted to take the 5.7 bail out of the reputation opening pitch, but it turned out to be the right move because i had a right coniption on the 2nd. Gr 20 slab sequence 3m above a .2 stuffed in a pin scar 4m above the next piece. I was 10/10 scared for 20 minutes of up and downing the sequence. I tried to recall vague images of the product disclosure on my travel insurance but i couldnt even read the crimps right before my eyes. Finally pulled it, trapsed up the ramp to the chains swearing and brushing sweat from everywhere. From there it didnt let up too much either. Gen had a 5.10 crux 5m above the chains with no gear. I extended by petzl adjust and prepared for a dive to the side. Impressively (impressively?) bold for a classic.

Set off for this one at 4pm with gen on what was supposed to be my rest day. I was imagining sporty cracks but in reality yosemite multis are rarely just sporty cracks and this one turned out to be 90% v-groove thrash. There were some doubtful moments as the sunline travelled slowly up the hill behind us and light faded 2 pitches from the top but i got to have a lash at the top in bright enough conditions (i wish i could use that as an excuse for not sending). Heartbreaker flared finger jam slip 4m under the chains. Gens answers as to why i was rushing us so much lower down were revealed at the top: i forgot my headtorch. She lent me her phone torch and we rapped to the ground and ate a depressing 10pm dinner in camp 4.5 parking lot.

12.5hrs car to car. Pretty glad we planned it this time and started at 530 instead of 9! 3 person party with audrey and ariel. Solid nav efforts from audrey kept me from running after the wrong approach trail cairns like a puppy. Ariel contributed with the surprise mini fireball bottle at the top right as the clouds consumed us. Nicer climbing than i expected and good spirits only started to diminish on the hell of a hike back afterwards. Mandatory snow but slides on the east side of the dome were checked off. I booked the last 5k of the hike so i could make dinner for 25min before the girls arrived. Little did i know they were only 3min behind me! Bit of a dog act making them wait for my pasta to boil

Gen and I woke up with the intention of doing snake hike and/or dike with the spanish crew but forgot to exchange contacts or formulate a plan the previous day and consequently left ourselves little time for the 32 hour approach and a 84 hour descent. We decided chossohead arete would be a good little replacement mission. Little did we know.. that the climb.. actually doesnt exist! We located the chosshead and began ascending the chwitchbacks to the chockface where we dropped gear and went about locating the start. The next 2 hours was a veritable highlight reel of dangerous gully chraverses and checking the chopo from the book. Gen roped up at one point, put one cam in the wall and magically turned a number 2 crack into a number 4 crack. I decided eventually that we were both pushing our 9 lives and that we should bail down the scree. Gen was incredibly patient throughout this shit show and i was also incredi.. no i wasnt. An uncompromisingly shite day in the hills.

Doesnt get better than this. 4 ultra classic grade 17s stacked on top of eachother. No boring moves, directly across from el cap. Good way to send tony off. There was still a snow pack at the base with a 6m+ shrund to step over onto the climb which tony led so i was bracing for it being a really bad way to send him off.

Climbed this route after 'climbing' generator crack, the token 'im gonna go submit myself for thrashing by a wide crack on top rope' in the valley. New diversions however was an absorbing lead at the grade and an outrageous traverse across the face to a watermelon sized chicken head, no pro, i guess im slinging it. Then mantle said watermelon without kicking your only pro off and tip toe across to a piton. Gen, my climbing partner for the day boldly jumped on the pointy end afterwards and whipped off the chicken head pro! Glad to not have the same thing happen.

Great adventure route. Pick your own line up 'the wall of knobs'. Many knobs to choose from but only 2 of them clipped the chains at the top of pat and jack pillar. Tony has rediscovered himself as a chimney climber - positively brimming with joy as he back pressed the final chute to the summit. I expect to have to talk him out of free soloing steck salathe.

Magnificent rap in and views from the sloping ledge. Each of us had 2 punts. Not as splitter as the bridge crack in bowen hills but alright for rock i guess. Heart broken by the rude boulder at the end but with a bit of rope help the roof turn was very cool. Nice sesh

El capihoofa!! Finally on the big stone.. The first couple hundred metres but still felt like a 4 year old in a candy shop up in the sea of rock. Bringing sunnies up there would be good beta. That white rock reflects light like snow. Insecure and exciting low angle climbing but never full cheesegrater potential (for me cos shane led the sketchy 5th pitch). An el cap adventure wouldnt have been complete without some french free.. which was the only reason i grabbed the draws instead of sending. We lay on the mammoth ledge top out at 1pm staring up at salathe wall with slack jaws for 20 min before beginning the descent. Getting to rap fixed lines down to the ground for a 5 minute descent to the cars is also a luxury i will miss.

I - Jack Seawright - solemnly offer my deepest apologies for displaying some of the most pathetic climbing this king line has seen in its proud 50 year history. I had convinced myself probably too easily that i had what it took to climb astroman while tony, fresh off a double rest day, was rearing to go. We passed some young hoofas on the trail that offered to let us go first. We accepted a little too quickly to be considered polite and then ratted behind their backs about how their mums would be angry at them for being late to school pickup. The tables swiftly turned as they onsighted everything behind us and patiently waited at the belay stations as we racked up the following highlight reel: pitch 2: tony fails to locate totem placement off the deck for boulder problem, rips poorly placed dragonfly out of pin scar with hand, then aids original choss corner. I accidentally king swing across slab above on second after sweating off crimp. Pitch 3 enduro corner: I sloffed up the pitch with 20 rests on lead after telling everyone i planned to onsight the pitch. Pitch 5: I bailed off the last section of the pitch due to what i still consider a pretty serious unprotected 5.10 face sequence, and we rapped down the route past the kids who certainly seemed capable enough to find their own way home after school. The only success was that we didnt have an epic on the harding slot!.. because we didnt make it that far. Back at the campsite i copped a 'free dinner and free pants, i just wish i could free astroman'. Yes, i now reuse my jokes in crag writeups.

Great adventure. Probably second tallest rock climb ive done to caucasus corner in the bumbles. First time climbing with Ina. She threw down to get through the 5 straight pitches of chimney weirdness. As expected with the incredibly ominous 5.9++ rating and learning that one particular 5.14 valley climber didnt send this thing, there was some suspiciously tricky 5.9 but nothing too insane. I got stuck for about 5 minutes on the 7th pitch. Having forgot my headtorch, i was relieved that we topped the climb around 4 and got some drop dead views of the nose from 1000m off the valley floor directly across the valley from it. 'The sketchiest part of the day was jack drinking water from the sludge river 2 minutes from the carpark as far as im concerned' - Ina.

So god damn good. Came out with mattias early to beat the sun, jugged straight up skipping the most exhausting warm up pitch in existence. Mattias jumped on and lashed up 6 pieces then came down, i tried to rose-point it through half-preplaced gear. Pretty solid crack but had a footslip and a good whip at half height which probably is the crux depending on style preference. The top is intreguing in the v groove and the victory jug feels so amazing to caress that itll make your hang dog feel like a long term project red point. Stoked to get out and get some fingers stuck on this pitch that consensus says is the best 5.11 in the valley. At this point im on board with it

World record! Most bails in a single day. Let me explain my rationale. The night before, tony and i had poured through the guide to decide on the ultimate 'big day'. We had decided to wake up at 530. Unbeknownst to us, this would serve perfectly to maximize bail opportunities. Tony even was ready on time in the morning. We started up royal and after i lost the route and accidentally simul climbed off route into a 10+ roof traverse, we got back on track only to see the rest of the actual route covered by a turbulent waterfall. To be fair, we had actually been told about this, but we thought it would be a 'japanese trad waterfall'. We retreated, and also let the opportunity to link into crest jewel via the hiking summit go to the wayside. 2 bails and its not even 10am. Luckily astroman goes into shade at 1030! Unluckily we forgot to borrow dylans rps. 3 bails. Drove to el cap for south by south west. Left the car, realised it faces south or south west or some combination there of and would be copping intense sun. East buttress was consulted but yosar was doing rescue training. 5 bails down, we spied the moratorium. Known for seasonal wetness on the last pitch, we were ready to climb wet 11b just to get something done. After 1 (albeit incredible and varied corner) pitch, i brought tony up. He gingerly clipped in and told me that he had shat his pants and needed to go down. We sat on this el cap standard belay ledge admiring the beautiful day that had somehow forced 6 multi pitch bails on us in the space of 9 hours. We went back to the camp 4 toilets so i could bash the mirror with my head and tony could bash the toilet with his insides.

Phoah pretty tricky face climbing at this spot. Nice to work the fingies and take some solid wings. Still learning to spot a layback. Accidentally took dylans tcs for a burn up some trad route but he still sent this after in the same shoes. Even though he wears 40.5s and i wear 42s. Must have warmed them up for him. Youre welcome mate.

Avalanche wreckage approach was abit choss but the route was awesome. Very stoked to pull off 'the incinerator' first crux pitch at 11c (maybe a little forgiving at the grade but as always ill take it). Worth missing the arrow spire highline for i think. Maybe. Well never know.

Via a fair bit of aqua id say with the precip this part of the world has had this year. Views of both springbrook falls and half dombrogargon while we traversed the very exposed 3rd class and found the start of the choss corner. The falls were kind of visible around the arete but loud enough to disguise a couple fighter jets that flew overhead at one point. 4 pitches of chimneying and moderately scary face run outs. The scariest bit definitely the '5.7' hanging flake crux where you plug the flake with cams, then hang off it and pounce to a sloper. If the flake comes off, the next piece of pro is an 'antique bolt' as its called in the guide and actually looks more like a door knocker on an english cottage. We got a nice rainbow below us at one point. Top out similar to ozymandias, climbing over the tourist lookout and getting asked by all the 'narps' (non athletic real people) if we were abseiling. A climb that shares the podium with queensland heavyweights clemency and trojan for the best shithouse rockclimbs in the world.

Day 1 yosemite (real day 1 after dylan and i hoofed up some 9s near camp yesterday. Serenity sons link up was pretty wild climbing. Quite like angels in buffalo except with a whole pitch manufactured with pin scars. How very american.